“Broken Heart”

If I don’t understand you,

Then its okay I don’t have a heart

But if I do,

Even then I don’t have a heart

If I hurt you

Then its okay I don’t have a heart,

But if I don’t

Even then I don’t have a heart

If I don’t have feelings for you

Then its okay I don’t have a heart

But if I do

Even then I don’t have a heart

If I don’t love you,

Then its okay I don’t have a heart

But if I do

Even then I don’t have a heart

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it pain

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it want you

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it love you

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it wait for you

If I don’t have a heart

Then why are my eyes fixed on my cell

If I don’t have a heart

Then why it wants my cell to ring

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it want to see you around

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it want to express my love for you

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it want to tell you

That you are the one

Who makes my life complete

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it beat only for you

If I don’t have a heart

Then why does it think 24x7 about you.

If I don’t have a heart

Then why my dreams

Begin with you

And end with you

I really don’t have a heart

Else you could have seen my love for you

I really don’t have a heart

Else you would have been with me

I really don’t have a heart

Else you would have understood my true feelings

Now I really don’t have a heart

Coz it has been shattered into a million pieces

The pieces that cannot be fixed

To form a heart without clefts in it

I really don’t have a heart

Coz now it’s a truly broken one

I really don’t have a heart

Coz I have decided to move on

With the broken one I have.

Why the broken pieces still hurt

Why have I still not learnt to bear the pain?

Coz every piece of my heart

Has one and only one image

And that is of you.

But still I don’t have a heart

Coz now I call it a broken heart.

Comedy of Errors Part-II

The continuation of Comedy of Errors Part I

I returned to my seat and perched on chair like a soulless creature. Recollecting all that had happened, I realized that someone is tapping my back and it was Ayush saying “you don’t have to code and what did she say”, he broke my uneasiness and I said ” everything is messed up and will explain after exam”. Now I had one goal and had to conquer it by hook or crook and a flux ran through my body and re-energized me to code the half written programs. I successfully compiled one program and when I headed towards the second one, I realized that I couldn’t recall the function that could help me go through. Hence, I poked my nose here and there to get something out of it. Just then a hoarse voice entered my ears” Rohit, I am watching you, dare not to copy”. After that I found myself under strict observation and she didn’t care whether others were making their way out or not but she did make sure that I didn’t.

Now, conditions were more tensed and I had to walk through the beds of thorn to achieve my goal. Then, suddenly my diffused lamp glowed and I adjusted the code to generate the desired output. But none can fight with his destiny and for the first time in history of lab she showed her willingness to see the code and that one was none other than me. She again said “do you think I am a fool?” and I felt like saying” yes, I do”; after that she scribbled something on my answer sheet and asked me to leave.

Now, major task that was left was that I had to convince her somehow and make sure that I don’t get zero for my internals. Then, Ayush ran to hostel to fetch my lab record and I had only 5 minutes to do so as she had to catch her train. I walked, talked and tried to persuade her and said “Ayush has gone to fetch the record and he will be here in a flash of time” and followed her till the main gate of college and said “ma’am, I can even come up to station to prove myself right”. I consider it a master stroke which bowled her and she said “okay, come and show your record tomorrow morning at 10 am and I will consider it” and I hopped in happiness and thanked her.

I headed back to hostel to figure out what had happened and there was again a smirk on my visage as I had accomplished my lab exam inspite of many odds. Many new capabilities came to light of which I was unaware earlier, which would have been under the hood if I would not have faced such an event. It’s better to have all the experiences at the earliest as they reveal hidden treasures inside you. The more you experience the better you become. The key mantra for success is trust, belief and faith on oneself and zeal to accept any situation or circumstances and to get through it with flying colors.

One more point that has to be kept in mind is that never let circumstances control you, rather you should be able to sway them away as per your wish. For that you need to have control on your thoughts, desires etc. only then you can be finesse.

 You can practice it by taking baby steps; for example if you are hungry then strain yourself for the next half an hour, and iterate yourself. Or Reorganize your thoughts and put yourself in a situation in which you had been before and now put yourself to try and note down your response to tackle it.

When you have self control then only you can convert any situation into “COMEDY OF ERRORS”. Finally, I was successful in retooling my situation, so when are you going to do so ?

Comedy of Errors Part-I

IWP (Internet & Web Programming) Term End Lab Exam

Date: 20^th April, 2011

When sixth semester was on the brink of getting over, the excitement permeated deep into me as vacations were fast approaching and I would be at home after a long period of approximately five months and it had been the longest one after I joined VIT. But before I could start off to my home, I had to go through the period which almost every student hates. Yes, it can’t be other than exams.  During exam time I always have weird and unusual experiences. It was a Monday, and I had two lab exams back to back, first being software engineering commencing at 2:15pm and IWP at 5pm. I had been good at both the subjects as far as labs were taken into account. Just three hours before lab exam, I found that my IWP lab record was missing. I asked maximum number of people who could have walked with my lab record, but every effort was in vain. I even updated on Facebook, in a ray of hope that someone would come and return it to me.

Nothing was working according to me and I felt clock was accelerating to make me meet my fate. It was around 1.30pm, when I decided to give IWP lab faculty a call and seek her advice. I thought she would understand my situation and award some points for honesty, but the tide was against me and she said “I know you have not completed your record and just to save your ass you are framing stories and I can help you only in one way by awarding zero for not having your lab record” and she disconnected the phone and condition was worse than before. I was perplexed, and a miracle occurred when Paritosh brought my lab record just 10 minutes before exam. I hugged him for rescuing me from my worst nightmare. And I had limitless smile on my visage and soon brooded on bed to wrap the lab record with brown paper.

I dressed up and left for my lab exam and as usual exam started 20 minutes late from its scheduled time. The bestowed 20 minutes helped me calm and relax myself. Software engineering exam started and I somehow managed to polish off my questions in time. The next exam was grandeur and now I had lab record with me and above all I was curious to see the faculty’s reaction. At 5:15 pm, the exam began and I had enough confidence that I didn’t even open my record to turn the pages.

I received my set of questions and got engrossed in coding them and thereafter a hoarse voice touched my ears, my faculty had been calling me for the viva holding the lab record. I walked towards her with smirk and a bolt from a blue came and washed away all my confidence that I possessed. And she said “do you think I am fool, you will wrap up and bring any record camouflaging it to be IWP and I will not come to know” and I was taken by surprise by what she has been chuntering. I saw the record and earth slipped off from under my foot and felt I am sinking down. I put forward my point and tried to convince her, I narrated the whole story in a single breath to her but she keeping on chanting one line “you called me around 2pm, right! and said you lost your lab record and were asking for the consideration and now you come up and say that you found it. Do you think I am a fool?” I was bewildered and she asked me to give viva and leave as she didn’t have time to waste. She fired questions on me and I somehow answered them.  I said “ma’am trust me, I am not lying and I can bring it show it to you” and she responded in very childish manner and said “don’t waste your and my time, it is for sure you will be awarded zero.” and reiterated “do you think I am fool?”

To be continued...

Dabba with Erudition

The movie named “Stanley ka Dabba” was perching in my “Movies folder” and waiting for me to view it. I have heard a lot about it on facebook, and probably it had been cynosure of attraction for long. I was experiencing a force pulling me towards it but somehow extenuated the coercion. The CAT and placement were dancing on my head and as I polished off my CAT (exam), I was feeling more relaxed during exams than after it. I was perplexed and not able to decide whether I should watch “Stanley ka Dabba “ or study for placement, but movie propelled me towards it and at last I brooded on chair and started the movie.

As the movie commenced, it seemed to be mediocre one and so I closed it. And searched my laptop for an alternative but could not find one and so I retrograded to “Stanley Ka Dabba”. After 10 minutes of movie I could make out that it had titillating story. The corsage of gesture, body language and facial expressions served by Stanley (our movie hero) were astonishing. Stanley’s adroit to coin the stories at an instant was appreciable. Even the descry of Rosy Ma’am sufficed a suffusion of crimson on Stanley’ visage. 

Then a glutton called khadhoos enters, who used to have a keen eye on his students’ lunch box. But, Stanley and group make him run around the campus, just to save their “dabba” from gourmand so they could share the dabba with Stanley and not with khadhoos. Their elegant move was caught by khadhoos and results in Stanley’s termination.  But Stanley and his group decide to pay back and hence the stand taken by them against khadhoos thereafter leads to the end of khadhoos’ epoch. 

As the movie proceeded to its cloture, I was flustered by the dramatic change and was bewildered that the boy who had been framing stories of his mom and dad and was the reason behind others’ happiness had been deprived of Almighty’s gratuity. At that moment tears could have rolled down my eyes but intrepidity and determination demonstrated by a boy one-third my age, helped me to preclude my tears. The affliction for not having his parents was clearly visible in his eyes.

The movie threw me in deep valley of introspection, environed by my thoughts. The magnificent sparkling gleam allured me and I hastened towards it as fast as I can to seize it but I realized that it kept moving away from me. I accelerated to have it for myself, as greed had empowered me and soon I became foible and found myself embraced by dust. I regained vim and as I stepped forward a drape fell on me and tried to uncover myself, the more I tried, the more its clutches got stronger. Then I closed my eyes and felt as if I got wings and have been buoyed up. The sparkling gleam glided towards me and landed on my hand and got imbibed in my soul.

The sparkling gleam is the posy of intrepidity, coup, certitude and perseverance that each and every individual should ingest and should take a stand for him and his friends. The conglomeration of these qualities will make you a better person and you will be a part of one’s magical moment. Cherish what you have and leave aside your entire dolor and ameliorate yourself and soon you will have the sparkling gleam in your hands.

Just remember one thing, everything is mortal and you came empty handed will leave in the same posture. The deeds, gratitude and benevolence will mark your epoch.

"First day of my 3rd year"

A day

Room No. H 858

My summer vacations were over and I headed towards VIT with excitement as it is going to be my 3^rd year and new challenges and opportunities were waiting for me but in the corner of heart I had nostalgic feeling of moving away from my family after such a lovely vacation.

I reached VIT at around 12 am on 13^th July, 2010. It was just another usual night at VIT never expecting what the morning had to offer me. I just arranged my wardrobe and made some space for myself to sleep.

It was around 6am when I woke up rubbing my eyes and while yawning I stepped towards the window. With my partially opened eyes looked at nature’s charisma and aura. The dwindling of my eyes and the restless body made me feel in the arms of nature. The clouds passing over the mountain touching them just like mother’s caress for her little one. The cold blowing breeze, the chirping birds, rustling of leaves was part of nature’s melody. Leaning over the window with an enormous smile ogled at the nature’s gambol.  I felt that oriel was an interface between heaven and me. I could look at the birds hopping from one tree to another and clouds osculating the mountains and I wish I could be in the midst of it. I felt that I have reached a hill station rather than VIT.

I was totally engrossed by nature’s charm and beauty and as I was falling for nature, at that moment my roommate scattered my dreams and I felt that she is moving away from me with her open arms just by his single line “what’s the time?” And that time I felt like kicking him on his butt and I turned back and said “uthjaa , we are late for class”. It was one of my best mornings of my life and as we were getting late for class, we hastened towards the mess and somehow managed to be in class on time “ first time in life J” and thanked God for such a marvelous start.

This miraculous moment permeated me with optimism and I was sure that I will again be in the midst of nature next morning. As there was a ray of hope which kept me delighted whole day.

What we need is the “ray” which can knock at your door in any form, the point that has to be kept in mind is that you have to do some labour to catch hold of that ray. i.e. you have to leave your couch and open your door and welcome it; then leave your mind and heart free and let your thoughts to fall freely and select the lightest one and load it on the arrow and shoot it in the line of collimation with ray and run after it with an eagle eye on the arrow and you will cross all impediments that come your way and achieve your goal.

It’s not the end it’s the beginning as you have to shoot a new arrow again and chase it.